Sugar Sharer Pillows

"I don't mind ole neighbor lady borrowing a cup of sugar - just wish she would return the cups!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

Garden of Earthly Delights

Dog's Sandwich

A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.

". . .Release the Grunwalds now! Do not make us resort to force!"

"I'm trying to make up my mind."

Samosas

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'She blogged her first word today.'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'

'What a day! Mrs. Reed's own kids had her rubbed the wrong way before we even got to her.'

"I don't care if 'Pet Rescue' is on - get off my chair!"

"Let's both read it. Then we'll have something to talk about."

"And here's a shot of us showing you pictures from our last vacation."

Crumbs.

'They're getting awfully entitled.'

"Never be afraid to take me into your confidence, Sally, I'm very partial to stoolies."

"Well put, Johnson."