Succession Planners Gifts

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Someday this will all be yours...assuming that someday you'll have enough to buy it from me."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

"Great, now we're lost."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"This is what happens when a family business doesn't have a succession plan!"

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"Efficiency tombs available"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"Where do you see yourself in 100 years?"