Suburban Sojourner T-Shirts

Hell/Paradise

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

The Scenic Route

"You think the food is bad, wait till you hear the pilot's jokes."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

Single Family Home Sanctuary

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Vast Wasteland Ahead

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Of course - we wait forever, then come at the same time,"

'My brain's secret life is keeping me up nights.'

Alice in Wonderland: Flamingo Croquet.

Dog looks at kennel and says to cat: 'I couldn't imagine getting by without my little place in the country.'

The Redeye

Siren of suburbia

Welcome to Parmesan Acres: A Grated Community.

'The stolid soucar cared little for the boatel.'

Counting Geigers...

Pooper Scooper

'I understand he's here on a business trip.'

"Gimme a whiskey!" "Tex couldn't read."

Shell leaving a trail.

Amazing.

'You'll see, it's great: When they come back from fishing, they clean the fish and throw us the heads, tails and guts...'

New Seaside Development.

Albert hated growing up in a small town. 'Ow!! My toe!'

'If God had inteded us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport.'

"God, I hate suburbia!"