Suburban Gossip Enthusiast Pillows

"Heads up: Chatty old neighbor who drives her incarcerated son's muscle car at 9 o’clock."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'She's so put together!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A little bird told me...

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Channelling on the Cheap

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

Stable boys and Scottsman

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."

'She'll be back!!!'

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

"Let's just do the top layer."

"Yes, it is strange...usually he reads the 'Daily Gossip'."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"