Subtle Sweetheart Gifts

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

"I love you, you big fool."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

"Don't look now, but in 3 seconds I want you to very nonchalantly look at my tail and tell me if it's wagging."

'Do we have enough money for sweets yet?'

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"Greetings! We come in peace and seek only a meaningful relationship."

Penguin and polar bear watching Eskimos throw snowballs.

"I need a Smartphone, Dad?"

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

'If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.'

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

Very little fan fair.

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

"This is my husband, John. He works for the CIA."

Dressing up

"I'm going out for a while..."

Servant girl sneaking out to meet her lover

"We have an arrangement."

'Okay. No one's looking.'

'Okay, I'll be your Valentine, but don't get any funny ideas.'

'Either something sexy that doesn't say 'sex', or something not sexy that does say 'sex'.'

'Darling... after two weeks at your sister's she's finally given us a set of scales.'

Self-Conscious Girl