Subsidy Scholar Gifts

"...and here I was...only just getting used to being paid for NOT doing things."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Pinara fund

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

Roads Scholar

Sidewalk the game

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

Guillaume Bude

'Mo got a hardship grant to attend university.'

"Ahh, the suburbs - security, peace, comfort - but I digress. You have a question on your Social Studies homework?"

'He's here to see you about a basketball scholarship.'

Teacher to students: 'A penny for your thoughts, but only if you're here on scholarship.'

"I gotta know if I'm gonna pass the big history test tomorrow! I can't remember who fought in the industiral revolution, and my scholarship depends on it!"

"One of my boys just got a college basketball scholarship."

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in this scholarship application instructions quite clearly says ... '

The Strings on Farm Subsidies.

Hugh Trevor-Roper

"School's out- academic summer camp is in."

"Athletic scholarship."

'There you go...talking that old timey trash again. Got any ideas the work in the real world?'