Subsidy Scholar Gifts

"...and here I was...only just getting used to being paid for NOT doing things."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Pinara fund

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

Roads Scholar

"That's for our son. . . the one with a basketball scholarship!"

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

Sidewalk the game

"Phil's a living legend on this campus. His last grant proposal won a Pulitzer."

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

Hoping to convince the university that he is worthy of a wrestling scholarship, Nick pins the director of admissions in 13 seconds.

'Mo got a hardship grant to attend university.'

'He's here to see you about a basketball scholarship.'

'The only mystery remaining is, who wins the scholarship to Sherlock Holmes University...'

"Ahh, the suburbs - security, peace, comfort - but I digress. You have a question on your Social Studies homework?"

Guillaume Bude

"I gotta know if I'm gonna pass the big history test tomorrow! I can't remember who fought in the industiral revolution, and my scholarship depends on it!"

Teacher to students: 'A penny for your thoughts, but only if you're here on scholarship.'

Hugh Trevor-Roper

The Strings on Farm Subsidies.

"School's out- academic summer camp is in."

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in this scholarship application instructions quite clearly says ... '

"One of my boys just got a college basketball scholarship."

"Athletic scholarship."

Would you folks mind not talking for the rest of the evening? I've been diagramming sentences all day at school.