Subscription Savant Pillows

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"Sure, you can renew your subscription over the phone too. Need any prescriptions, too?"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

Piggy Bank ATM

"House red, sir?"

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

Houdini 2019

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"I need the epipen? I need the epipen?! Where am I going to get that kind of money to pay for it?"

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

Scrooge and his piggy bank

Easter Bunny HQ. We'll need to add more staff this year --- They also want us to hide their nest eggs.

Vitamin D

"Once I started doing tech-support for family and friends, i had to get a bigger piggy bank."

Vending machines labeled 'SNACKS' and 'STATINS.'

Electric motorcycles catch fire in Cuba

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"I'm saving for when I get a low-paying job doing what I love."

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

Subtitle: Woof.

"They still had so much TV ahead of them."

"I'm conservative with my money like you, Granddad. I keep my piggy bank under my mattress."