Studio Star Pillows

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Taking a peek at the audience

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

Ladies

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Music producers.

Doctor Bartolo

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'Hang on a minute...'

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

Bigger Brain

Von Trapp family masks

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"It's so good to see them studying so hard. Gracie does it because of her thirst for knowledge. Baldo does it out of self-defense."

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

Bow

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

"We started learning about units of measurement in math class, but I don't really understand it, so I've got an acre of homework to do."

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"