Studio Supporter Pillows

"Do you want my opinion as an art critic or as your best friend?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Just be yourself."

Theatre Crowd

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

Ta Da!...

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

It's an I-O-Ewe.

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

Recording Studio

Please consider donating your cancelled ticket so that we may sing again for you very soon.

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Writer's Strike

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

Football merchandising - 1953.

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

'Okay,GREAT,that's perfect! Now don't move!'

"I took two lessons before I released my first album."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.

'I'm a mess — will you go see who's at the door?'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

Teacher's Workroom.