Student Support Champion Gifts

The Un-Level Playing Field

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

Parents teacher conference.

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

Teacher's Workroom.

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."