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The Un-Level Playing Field

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Parents teacher conference.

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Start of the school year