Strictness Satirist Pillows

"You just can't let yourself go, can you!?"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Vendor selling testosterone.

'I understand he has a hard boiled management style.'

Latest science behind social distancing advice

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

Stay at home

Home for the Holidays

"You do realize you're violating the dress code..."

Skinny model in wardrobe - 'Clothes hang better on skinny models.'

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

Unnecessary Surgery

"I understand the sex scenes have been removed but the balanced-budget and term-limits scenes have been left in."

"Wait, sir. It's a new banking regulation -- You can't leave without depositing something."

'It's another notice from the government - they say we need to add airbags.'

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"

"Be honest: Does this shirt make me look like a blockhead?"

"Hey! If you're gonna use the ladies tee that skirt goes below the knees. And lose the tank top, mister."

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

'Have you noticed how the building inspector always arrives around lunch time?'

'I tried to get the numberplate PEN 15 but it had gone.'

'Hi Dad... The good news is I've finally found a job...'

Do you have one in extra frumpy?

"Pant height = √belt ÷ age²"

"Nope...your 'Comb Over Ponytail' still isn't trending."

Distressed Clothing Fashion Shop

Doc, I firmly believe in portion control as long as I control them!

Will tip for service.

'If you caught that in a wheat field, how do we know it's gluten-free?'

"We took everything that was nice and got rid of it."