Regulation Satirist Pillows

'Have you noticed how the building inspector always arrives around lunch time?'

I know, but it's code.

'It's another notice from the government - they say we need to add airbags.'

'We'll have to remove all these barrels back here - they're not hazardous enough.'

"Wait, sir. It's a new banking regulation -- You can't leave without depositing something."

Quality Control

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Suggestions box in a toilet.

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Safety Barriers

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'He started it!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"I got probation."

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

Latest science behind social distancing advice

TOO SLOW

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."