Stress Relief Seeker Gifts

'Are you alright? You seem tense...'

"I have a lot of stress"

Freud at a crossroads: 'Psychoanalysis should relieve stress and anxiety...but so does looking at fish.'

Man hiding under office desk

"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."

"You're carrying a lot of tension."

'All right! Who's got my bloody stress ball?'

'Try these relaxation methods. If they don't work, I'll prescribe a tranquilizer dart.'

'And if you like comfort food, I would recommend the Xanax stuffed pork -loin.'

Resting in Peace: How about you?

"You're all tense. Let me loosen these a bit."

'Miss Pemberton is off with nervous exhaustion, so this is your substitute teacher.'

'It's not my childhood memories that are painful... it's this spring in your couch!'

'This is the substitute stress-medication your insurance company approved. Just watch them for a couple hours a day, and you should feel good as new.'

"Sheep gave me stress."

Man constantly stressing

Man Imprisoned in Christmas Gift: 'Help!'

'It's a model to study stress...these mice all have long commutes, dead end jobs and out of control kids.'

'Mr. De Vries is still busy... Coffee?'

Anger Management: "You're not angry enough. Come back again tomorrow."

"I don't think you understand how stressful jobs like mine are.. do you realise I'm responsible for the entire cat litter packaging programme in this area."

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

"The therapeutic petting zoo creatures have calmed the office, but the cleaning crew is freaking out!"

'It's John on the 'phone, he's no sick-days left... so he's rung-in dead!'

"I feel a lot of tension here."

'Beating hell out of a sand-tray is nothing - mine lets me smash up the bookcases!'

"Stress Free."

'Wehenver the insanity of modern life gets to be too much I find solace and comfort soaring the blue skies in my little airplane with the monster tires.'

'Check this out. These sharp drops in his vital signs coincide with visits from his inlaws.'

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

Big Al's Sporting Goods...Stress management consultant on duty!

"I told you never to call me at this number."

"The doctor is on medical leave. Diagnosing your hypochondria gave him repetitive stress syndrome."

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."