Stress Enthusiast Pillows

'You need some stress.'

'If you think the traditional stress test is too risky, how about watching CNBC for an hour?'

'...And on weekends, he worries about what he forgot to worry about during the week.'

"You mentioned that you thrive under stress. So, you're getting one of our 20 year old computers."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Fight or Flight

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

Danger Slow Sand.

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."