Stress-busting Professional Gifts

"N-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

On holiday.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

'I call it laziness - He calls it stress management.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"Dude. You seem tense."

"I'm going on a little mental-health walk and you're not coming with me."

White flag being waved around bosses door.

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

"When the doctor said you should get a pet for lockdown I think he meant a cat!"

Grok's Thought Stopping.

"I have had three work-related heart attacks, witch shows you that I care about my job."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"Yeah, your inner child called. They want a nap, a juice box, and a restraining order." "Ruining whoops, running a country is tough. Maybe I need to relax and channel my inner child."

"Am I worried about going belly-up? Well, I can't get my fingers uncrossed and I sleep face down."

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'