Street Worker Gifts

A Gentleman and a Sweeper

'How's business tonight?'

"My heart says no, my head says maybe, my you-know-what says yes."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Off Duty.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Around here it got a little tricky...

The Milky Way (Detail)

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'A word in my office Jones.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

'I can assure you we take privacy concerns very seriously. Now, on your way out, shut the bloody door.'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'