Street-smart Stylist Pillows

The Urban Utility Belt

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Hats and Food

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

Utility Chic.

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

The Burbs

Bling Bling.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'Take ten years off the top.'

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

Parking meter holdup

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

Do you have a larger suit in the same size?

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

Fake beggar.

'-and do you always tell street interviewers to xxyzz!! off, sir?'

'That's what I love about New York - people leave you alone.'

'I'm mainly interested in something that won't show up on teaching evaluations.'

'We need an expert to improve our marketing concept, our business strategy and our sales performance. That's why I decided to hire the 12 year old from the lemonade stand on the other side of the street.'

'Checked polyester? Haven't you heard the expression 'Dressed to kill'?'

Yves Saint Laurent face mask

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

"Big news, folks...turns out, you're all wearing the wrong pants. So if you'll please pass your pants to the person on your right, I think we can get this worked out."