Street-smart Stylist T-Shirts

The Urban Utility Belt

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Hats and Food

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

Utility Chic.

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

The Burbs

'Did you ever use the American Apparel voucher I gave you?'

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

Bling Bling.

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'Take ten years off the top.'

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

Parking meter holdup

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

Do you have a larger suit in the same size?

'-and do you always tell street interviewers to xxyzz!! off, sir?'

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

Fake beggar.

'That's what I love about New York - people leave you alone.'

'I'm mainly interested in something that won't show up on teaching evaluations.'

'We need an expert to improve our marketing concept, our business strategy and our sales performance. That's why I decided to hire the 12 year old from the lemonade stand on the other side of the street.'

'Checked polyester? Haven't you heard the expression 'Dressed to kill'?'

Yves Saint Laurent face mask

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'