Street Sermon Appreciator Pillows

"He's always been an optimist."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Slow Night

Free speech isn't cheap!

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"God created Heaven and Earth in seven days but has failed us miserably with Brexit."

Sermon Applause.

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

"That's my novel."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"