Strategic Crystal-gazer Gifts

'I'm here to work on my company's vision.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

How leaders fail

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Why bother?"

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"It will be all your fault."

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Ill next Thursday

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"Anyone can dream the impossible dream. We need to sell the impossible dream."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'