Strategic Communicator Pillows

'I'm very impressed with how you effectively dodged every one of my questions.'

"Petersen doesn't say much, but when he does speak people listen!"

"And then, there was nothing more to say."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Any questions?"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

Direct Marketing...

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"