Communication Strategists Pillows

'We need to strike the right tone between asking and desperately pleading in our alumni solicitation letters.'

"Let's talk about this later, like sometime I'm not here."

"I'll be back in an hour, email me if there's a problem text me if it's a big problem, call me if it's an emergency."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Dialogue

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Changing Minds

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

Ruddy bloggers!

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

Torturing the English Language

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'