Communications Strategist Pillows

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Make my speech so ambiguous it doesn't matter what they take out of context!'

"Miss Soames, reach out and touch a Horace Parker, of Humbolt, Morris, Parker & Brown."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Good boy."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"National security adviser"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Likes: $2.

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"#Win!"

Dialogue

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Ruddy bloggers!

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Information...political rhetoric