Straight Talker Gifts

'She's in a meeting. Would you like to get lost?'

Augmented reality check

Urinanalyst.

"I don't like small talk."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Bryan Ferry

Freedom of the press

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

Mother Goose Spoilers

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"I'd like to report a case of historical sexual abuse in the sixties. I'd like to - but I can't!"

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

Candor is the Best Policy

'Let's cut out the mumbo jumbo and get to the nitty gritty.'

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

The Language of Love

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

''Excellent','excellent','a delight' - for heaven's sake, don't you ever feel like rebelling a bit?'

"Wow! Talk about a game-changer!"

". . .Release the Grunwalds now! Do not make us resort to force!"

Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.

"The first thing I'll do as prince is take frog legs off the menu."