Straight Talkers Gifts

'I'm looking for marriage and kids. Hi, what's your name?'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Pastries and Candy

Home Sweet Home

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Are we there yet?'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'He was a great writer'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Jorge Luis Borges

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

Like Minded

"He's been downgraded to a Category One."

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

'He followed me home...Can I kiss him?'

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'