Straight Talkers Gifts

'I'm looking for marriage and kids. Hi, what's your name?'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Pastries and Candy

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'Are we there yet?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'He was a great writer'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Jorge Luis Borges

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Like Minded

"He's been downgraded to a Category One."

David and Goliath.

'He followed me home...Can I kiss him?'

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

Mother Goose Spoilers