Storytime Escapologist Gifts

'Terry often loses himself in a good book.'

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

Sleepy Bunny

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'