Storytime Adventurer Gifts

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

Through the Looking Glass - Alice and Humpty Dumpty.

" 'And so the crack-whore princess and her pimp lived happily ever after. The end.' O.K., that's it. Lights out."

"OK, now you're both being rude!"

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

The Princess and the Pea

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

Please read my favourite bedtime story, it always has a sleepy ending.

"Couldn't Pinocchio get a phone signal after he was swallowed by the whale?"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Bookworm Sleepover

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Grimm's Reality Tales.

Treasure Island Book.

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."