Storytelling Junkies T-Shirts

"OK kids, I'll tell the story one more time..."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

The Fourth Little Pig

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Audio Books

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Recalculating route..."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Moby Dick

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal