Storyteller Of Mysteries T-Shirts

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

"We only got six days of funding."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"Eat my dust!"

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

Phoenix

'Believe me, you don't want to know what's in it.'

Santa CGI Effect

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

Fairy tale

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

fairy tales

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Witch dice.

Young Stephen King

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

What happens on Noah's Ark stays on Noah's Ark.

I get my ideas on sale...

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

Alternative Big Bang Theory.

'He was brought by the stork.'

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

Shakespearean Actor

'It's a special delivery from 'Troys are us'.'

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

'...Noah really knows how to build an Ark.'

'Take no notice, he was raided by wolves.'

"I have gathered you all here tonight to finally reveal which one of you killed Professor Sturm!"

Atlas juggling with the moon.

Martin is much gratified by an imposing ceremony

The Magi: Christmas, 1993

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."