Storyteller Of Machinery Pillows

"I know there's nothing wrong with the carburetor. I'm just interested in the stories it has to tell."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'The stuka brought you.'

Crane fishing

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Robot Robber

The strong Canadian dollar is bad for the Canadian exporting manufacturers.

"On your mark! Get set!"

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

"You know the great thing about human beings? They're biodegradable."

Man checks the gears in his chest.

Bagging the Chipmunk

'They don't make cars like this any more -- the country that built them disappeared.'

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

Elephant with front end loader using tusks.

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

Combined Harvester

A cheese grader

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

Lighting a Pipe

Cat flap for a truck.

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

'Sergeant! Wake up the lazer guided slaughter-bot. We have a mission for him.'; Reply - 'But he looks so peaceful, Sir.'

Milk production

'As part of our growth strategy we intend to build 76% more of them...as soon as we find out what they do!'

"So how many extra widgets do we have to produce to pay for the surveillance system to check we're making enough widgets?"

'I've always wanted to see inside an x-ray machine.'

"Did the earth move for you too?"

Forklift truck

'Give us a push mate, it won't start.'