Storyteller Of Machinery Pillows

"I know there's nothing wrong with the carburetor. I'm just interested in the stories it has to tell."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'The stuka brought you.'

Crane fishing

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Robot Robber

The strong Canadian dollar is bad for the Canadian exporting manufacturers.

"On your mark! Get set!"

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

"You know the great thing about human beings? They're biodegradable."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

Bagging the Chipmunk

'They don't make cars like this any more -- the country that built them disappeared.'

Man checks the gears in his chest.

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

Elephant with front end loader using tusks.

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

A cheese grader

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

Lighting a Pipe

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

Combined Harvester

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

Cat flap for a truck.

School bus. Stop. Learn.

Milk production

'Sergeant! Wake up the lazer guided slaughter-bot. We have a mission for him.'; Reply - 'But he looks so peaceful, Sir.'

'As part of our growth strategy we intend to build 76% more of them...as soon as we find out what they do!'

"So how many extra widgets do we have to produce to pay for the surveillance system to check we're making enough widgets?"

'I've always wanted to see inside an x-ray machine.'

Forklift truck

'Give us a push mate, it won't start.'