Storyteller Of Fortunes Lost Pillows

'Formerly wine taster workaholic.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"You know if we market it right, this thing could spread like the wheel."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

Lady of the Remote

Businessman Panhandling

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...Hey!'

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

"Oh, great. Humble Beginnings."

"Over there - an island!"

Martin is much gratified by an imposing ceremony

The Magi: Christmas, 1993

"Hoping to find a Picasso at a garage sale isn't a solid retirement plan."

Business Fairy Tales.

'I see lot's of water...'

"No, you don't get to put your spin on them."

'Well, you've been a great companion, Charlie. But you'd better hope we're rescued before Thanksgiving.'

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

"Woah!! Rayna is speaking in tongues!"

Desert Island Messages

'Grandpa, tell us again how the environmentalists won the election of 2012!'

"That's enough. I refuse to compete with Anna Quindlen!"

"Armageddon? Aren't you the one who was saying the sky was falling?"

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

The Suppressed Paintings of Cavewomen

'If you embraced social media, people wouldn't doubt our existence.'

'The worse part is there's no ATM here.'

How Arthur really became king.

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."