Storycrafting Enthusiast T-Shirts

A writer falls asleep over their manuscript

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"