Storycrafting Enthusiast T-Shirts

A writer falls asleep over their manuscript

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Where was the TSA?'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Little Princess.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."