Storybook Buff T-Shirts

"I checked the references for Ms. Snow White. While one seemed quite happy, the others were just bashful, grumpy, or out and out dopey."

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Poky Little Pupa.

"Where the wild things were."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Cupid