Story Shaper T-Shirts

"I'm sorry-you tapped into something no one cares about."

'Ladies and gentlemen of the press...what is your verdict?'

"Sometimes you just option it because your gut tells you this is a book that has to be butchered."

"As your chosen autobiographical ghostwriter, let me state up front that if I want any input from you, I'll ask for it."

'And here to tell us good times are here again, even though we're not so sure, is a spin doctor.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Fourth Little Pig

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

ET Mishap

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Iris Murdoch

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Writers without borders.

Günter Grass

Isabel Allende

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'