Storm Storyteller Gifts

'That was quite a storm we had last night!'

"It's getting quite bad."

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Edgar Allen Poe

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Bacchus.