Store Visiting T-Shirts

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'She's so put together!'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

The practical psychopath

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Customer Convention

Mistaken identity.

'Our giant sale now on!'

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

Books 'n' Carrots

"What's worse, that or this?"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'Just look'in'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Books On Paper

"What do you eat for anxiety?"

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

'Lady, you're steaming up my window!'

"I need nothing and I want everything."

Hipster Coffee

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Hypnotizing Women

This suits tighter than my skin!