Store Personnel Pillows

'Our product testers aren't meant to be used that way, Sir.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Hand sanitizer

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

Self-Checkout.

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

How much would you take off for cash?