Store Owner Humor Pillows

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Uh-oh.'

'The butler did it.'

"You never know what will catch on!"

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Joan of Arch

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

'Oops! Does this mean I'm next in line for CEO, Dad?'

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

"Remember, as employees here at Auto y Rod Inc., I expect you to set a good example!"

'Personally I wouldn't be seen dead in it.'

Free Range / Deranged

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

"Hey - aren't you the owner of the store?"

"Oh. The store is closed?"

"See? You don't need fancy window displays to attract attention...just get some police tape!"

Nautical Antiques: We Catch Your Drift

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

"Mr. Rod, are we getting a bonus this year?"

"I'm sorry you've got a sudden craving for nachos, Mrs. Hacksburry, but I really don't want to open the store right now!"

'I've made him a silent partner!'

"That's right. We're open 24 hours a week."

'Sox, man, SOX!'

Si's Sign's..."Out of busin..."

"Too soon?"