Store Manager Banter Pillows

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

Self-Checkout.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

"It floated. I want my money back."

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Brick and Mortar

How much would you take off for cash?

The Pied Piper in a computer shop.