Store Manager Banter Pillows

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Self-Checkout.

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Brick and Mortar

"It floated. I want my money back."

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

How much would you take off for cash?

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

The Pied Piper in a computer shop.