Store Manager T-Shirts

'You're right; there's a frozen pea on the floor. I'll cordon off the area, sound the store alarm and call in the disposal experts.'

I don't care if your combined age is around 50...I'm not selling you alcohol.'

"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."

Good customer service.

'I'm the oldest employee in the store...I've been here from Hi-Fi to Wifi.'

Ed's Dry Goods: "Lost Our Motivation. Everything Must Go!"

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"When were you thinking of trying to get us to call, luv?"

Bulk Food/ Stuff we swept off the floor.

'We can fix it for $79 or you can buy a new one for $12.99.'

"So, what's new?"

National Head Quarters - Mom & Pop Stores Incorporated

Bottled water - Spring, sparkle and classic.

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

Pawn Shop - Selling Pawns.

Loyalty Card

Man returning Christmas tree after Christmas is over.

Welcome Back.

'So you want a transfer from light fittings.'

Marks & Spencer refund counters: 'No quibble refunds' and 'Quibble refunds'

'I'm dissatisfied with life in general.'

Suggestions Box

Under New Management

'So that's what they mean by 'shop until you drop'.'

Convenience Store Entrance is Inconvenient.

'And why do you want a refund on that calendar?'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

Shopping trolley testing department: 'That one went exactly where you wanted it to go, I'm going to have to fail it.'

'We've been robbed!'

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'So next time we help a customer take from a pyramid stack, which can should we choose ?'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Security office door - '8 shoplifted items or less'.