Store Managers T-Shirts

'They're bored in kitchenware------they must be quiet too'

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Sale today - 50% off everything!

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'I need an hours sleep.'

'Look out! It's going to charge!'

'This is your third speeding fine this week. You are banned from the store.'

'I'm sorry, we no longer accept cash for transactions.'

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

Larry's used art

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Cut Price

Bad for you but to die for

High security Santa's grotto

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'