Store Manager Humorist T-Shirts

"Oh. The store is closed?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

Self-Checkout.

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

How much would you take off for cash?

The Pied Piper in a computer shop.