Stoner Humorist Gifts

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Mashed potatoes...

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'It was this big. I swear'

"Pass that."

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

Magic Act

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Bed Fellow

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'Gravity wins - again.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

Gunswinger

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

Joe Biden

Stoned Henge

Kitty stoners.

Steak Lovers.

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"Shaketh."

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

A Women Falls Into A Brook.

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

'My member requires some interest.'

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."