Stoner Humor Lover Gifts

Please keep off the grass.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Crap from the future.

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

The Monroe Doctrine

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Honest Voting Stickers

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Pass that."

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

'Never forget, Sweetheart, it's my low comedy that keeps you in high fashion!'

Chris O'Dowd

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

'I'm looking for an assistant who can keep me in mind of how well I'm doing.'

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Escape?...Why?'

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

Euro Collapse

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

Traders joining Wall Street protests

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."