Stockmaster Gifts

"We're drawing down our inventory since it can't seem to tear itself away."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Wall St. or True Love.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Will work for ETFs

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'