Stockmaster T-Shirts

"We're drawing down our inventory since it can't seem to tear itself away."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Wall St. or True Love.

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Will work for ETFs

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'