Stock Market Survivors Pillows

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

Sub-prime Bear

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

Economic casualties.

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"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

Coming out of the crisis

'It's safe to come out now; they're done recapping today's market.'

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

'Yes, it is a stressful job.'

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."