Stock Market Stylista Gifts

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bad hair day!

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Wall St. or True Love.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Will work for ETFs

Tree in Dollar Shape.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'