Stock Market Sherpa Pillows

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

The day the stock market went UP.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

The president's men

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Why markets crash.

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Stocks dropped on the news that governments can fool some people come of the time,but not all the people all of the time.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.